At Least She Still Has Us
by gleeageplayanon
Summary: Emily is in a horrific car accident that leaves her paralyzed from the waist down. Follow her journey from hospital to home and all of the obstacles in between. Warning: contains realistic/graphic portrayal of the management of bodily functions when paralyzed. Sort of A/U. No -A and Alison is not in Rosewood.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: To all of my faithful followers; I apologize for such the long wait! I have spent all of my writing time for the last two months trying to finish the first chapter of a new Sparia story, but I just can't get into it. I know you don't want excuses, but I've written maybe one sentence a day, and I'm still not happy with it. So, I've spent the entirety of the last two days throwing this together.**

 **Anyway, I recently spent a week with my cousin who is a nurse and has a paraplegic friend. Most of my information and inspiration comes from her, and I did a lot of research. I hope this story lives up to expectations!**

 **Without further adieu, I give you "At Least She Still Has Us."**

"I'm so sorry Em," Hanna said as she squeezed her friend's hand and tried to comfort her, "but you're alive and that's all that matters."

* * *

Three days earlier, Emily had been driving home from her shift at the The Brew when her life was changed forever. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw headlights as an SUV ran through a red light and crashed into the driver's side of her car, sending her rolling over and over until it stopped abruptly against a tree.

She had been knocked unconscious by the blow and awoke to the bright red and blue lights and the sound of metal being torn apart as they fought to get her out. "Hang in there ma'am, we're going to get you out," she heard as she realized the pounding in her head. She tried to pull herself out of her seat when she realized for the first time that she couldn't feel her legs and drifted out of consciousness again.

The next time Emily woke up, she was in the white light of a hospital room, with tubes coming out of her arms and wires going this way and that. "Em?" she heard someone ask as she slowly saw the room more clearly. "Em, you're awake, oh thank God," she heard again, realizing this time that the voice was coming from Hanna. "I'm gonna go find the doctor, okay?"

"Miss Fields?" she heard an unfamiliar voice ask. "My name is Dr. Jameson and I've been watching over your care. Can you squeeze my hand please?"

Emily did as she was told on both sides before the doctor walked to the foot of her bed. "Miss Fields, I need you to tell me what you feel okay?" the doctor said as he began prodding her feet and moving his hands up her legs.

"I..I can't feel anything," Emily said, the panic evident in her voice.

"Miss Fields, I'm sorry, but it seems that your spinal cord was injured in your accident and you've lost sensation and control from the waist down. At this point I would assume that the severing took place in your lower thoracic spine, but you are still very lucky. Any higher and there would have been much more serious complications. We don't know what the long term outcome will be for your injury as every case is unique, but we cannot guarantee improvement."

"You mean, I can't walk? I'll never be able to feel my legs again?" Emily exclaimed.

"Miss Fields, we don't know what the future will..." the doctor began but was interrupted.

"I'm going to be sick," Emily said quietly. A nurse rushed to get a bed pan in front of her as Hanna rushed to her side. After emptying the contents of her stomach, Emily began to cry in defeat.

Hanna rubbed the girl's back gently and shushed her quietly. Once Emily's cries quieted, Hanna reached for her hand. "I'm so sorry Em," she said as she squeezed it reassuringly and tried to comfort her, "but you're alive and that's all that matters."

Once Hanna was able to get the girl quieted, the doctor started again. "I know this is a lot to take in, but we want to get you home and adjusted into normal life as possible so you are going to be beginning a rehab program here. We will work on building your upper body strength and help you to complete basic tasks in a new way. We also need to try to get your body used to its new self. A lot of things are different now, and not just your inability to walk."

Emily sighed, "What do you mean?"

"Well," the doctor started, "one of the other side effects of your spinal injury is bladder and bowel incontinence."

"Oh god no," Emily interrupted him.

"Miss Fields, I assure you that this is not something that will disturb your life greatly. You currently have a Foley catheter inserted which we will be removing before you leave the hospital and at that time we will instruct you on self catheterization at home. It is something very common and you should adjust to well."

Emily simply nodded as the doctor continued, "The sort of bowel incontinence that you have is caused by a lack of movement in the lower GI tract. You also will not be able to feel the urge to use the restroom. We will need to get you on a scheduled bowel program in which you stimulate and empty the bowels at a regular time each day which will cut down on leaks and accidents as much as possible. All of the nurses here do this regularly and you are in the best of hands."

After the doctor finished explaining, the nurse stepped in. "I'm going to go ahead and remove your heart monitors and IV. You're not in any pain are you?"

Emily shook her head and the nurse smiled. "Good to hear. You gave us all quite the scare these last few days. Aside from your back injury, you have a pretty bad contusion on your head but no concussion. The other abrasions and bruises will heal on their own."

Emily nodded and the nurse began the process of pulling each sticky pad off of her chest. When it came time to remove her IV, Emily winced in pain and Hanna squeezed her hand reassuringly.

* * *

Six weeks of rehab in the hospital later, it was finally time for Emily to go home and Hanna, her rock through this whole process, came by to help. The doctor began the long discharge day early in the morning. "I'm sure you understand that things are going to be different now, and there are a few things we need to teach you before you are discharged. Who do you live with at home? You're going to need someone to watch over your care, especially in the beginning. We can arrange to have a caretaker come home with you if necessary," he commented.

"I don't really know. My mom is back in Texas with my dad right now and..." Emily explained sadly before being interrupted by Hanna, "No. Me. I'll be there to take care of her."

"Hanna, you don't have to do that for me, I'll figure it out," Emily protested.

"No Em, you need someone and I'm there. I'll stay with you at your place as long as you need," Hanna said definitively.

"Alright then," the doctor began, "you will going home in a simple wheelchair like you've been using here as it seems you have upper body control and stability. You may at first struggle with moving yourself around, but with time you will grow more and more comfortable with it. I recommend moving a bed onto the first floor of your home so you do not have to worry about stairs. It will be much easier to transfer yourself onto a bed at a similar height as your chair. While I do expect that you will be able to lift and transfer yourself with time, I expect you will still need assistance in the coming weeks. Luckily it seems that you have a very willing and able friend here to help you. After you leave, we will be setting up time for you to come back and work with therapists. Physical therapy may not bring back the feeling in your legs, but you will learn to adapt to your disability and function at a more normal level. It is also important to keep checks on your mental health. Traumatic injuries and large life changes can negatively affect people's minds and we would like to avoid negative emotions. Do you have any questions so far?"

"Um no, not really," Emily said quietly.

"Good. As for care at home, you still need to rest and recover. While the use of your upper body may make it seem like you can do a lot of basic things for yourself, like making food or getting dressed, we must encourage you not to do these sorts of things by yourself still. This is where your friend will come in. We also need to talk about how you are going to regulate your restroom needs."

Emily glanced worriedly at Hanna, but the girl gave her a reassuring smile.

The doctor continued, "To minimize leaks, we suggest self catheterizing with the help of your friend every 4-6 hours. We will show you how to do so after we remove the inpatient catheter in a little while."

Emily nodded reluctantly.

"Your friend will also need to help you regulate and empty your bowels," the doctor mentioned before Emily let out an embarrassed whimper.

"Em," Hanna said quietly, "I know this is a lot to take in, but this is what best friends are for okay? Relax and let the doctor explain."

"Thank you Miss..." the doctor trailed off.

"Marin"

"Miss Marin," he affirmed before turning his attention back to Emily.

"Before you leave, we will show you and your friend how to use suppositories and manually stimulate the rectum for elimination. Getting your body onto a regular schedule is still going to take time and we recommend wearing protection for the first few weeks at home. If you don't have any questions, the nurses can take over and get you ready to leave."

With that, the doctor left the room and the nurses began to gather the supplies to teach Hanna how to care for Emily's needs.

"Miss Fields, we're going to be removing your catheter now. I don't think you have any sensation in the immediate area but please let me know if you feel any discomfort," the nurse said before quickly removing the catheter.

"Now we are going to bend your legs up and show Miss Marin how to insert the small temporary catheter you'll be using several times a day. We can sit you up to watch if you'd like. This will become something you can do on your own in the future," the nurse offered and Emily nodded. The nurse proceeded to position Emily and move the blankets before showing the girls how to clean the area, insert and remove it.

Once Emily and Hanna both had a good understanding of self catheterization and Hanna felt confident enough to insert it herself, the nurses helped to lay Emily on her side for the next part. "Miss Fields, unfortunately, your bowel program is not something you're going to be able to do for yourself anytime in the near future," the nurse explained. "And I'm sorry, but there is no other way to teach Miss Marin than to actually perform this fully. It's almost 11am now and we had been doing this around noon anyway. I understand that you may feel embarrassed, but I do this to people almost everyday and have never been bothered by it. I know having your friend be here and having her do this is different than it has been the last few weeks, but it is still nothing to be ashamed of."

Hanna walked around the bed to stand near Emily's backside and placed a reassuring hand on her side. "It's okay Em, this is just life now. You're just an extra bit special now. No biggie."

Emily nodded and really smiled for the first time in weeks. She always loved Hanna's positive attitude and how she always knew how to say what she needed to hear.

The nurse began to prepare the bed, placing down a pad and putting on her gloves, handing Hanna a pair as well. "Alright Miss Fields, I want to make sure you're on the same page as us. I don't think we ever explained what we were doing to you before. This is something called digital stimulation. I know you won't be feeling this, but we stick one lubricated finger into your rectum and make slow circles and remove all of the stool near the exit. Then we'll give you a suppository and wait a bit. Afterward, we go ahead and do the same digital stimulation again every few minutes to make sure you're all cleared out."

Emily barely nodded but the nurse began the long process, allowing Hanna to try as well. Once the suppository was in, the nurse left and Hanna walked back around to Emily's front and sat down. "Hey, at least you've got a nice ass, Em," Hanna said, trying to lighten the mood a little. Emily shook her head, but Hanna swore she saw the slightest smile. "Come on Em, don't worry about it. Shit happens, right?"

With no luck trying to be funny, Hanna decided to try another tactic. "You know Em, you're my best friend in the entire world and I don't know what I would do if you were gone. If the only bad thing that comes out of you being alive is that I have to help you poop, I will gladly help you poop all damn day. You know I love you Em." Emily smiled finally and Hanna got up and walked to her bedside, grabbing her hand firmly. "I'm so happy you're still here Em. You're going to be okay. We're going to get you through this."

The girls spent the next 20 minutes making small talk and waiting for the nurse to come back. When she did, Hanna simply watched as she stimulated the girl again until her bowels were empty. Once Emily was wiped clean, the nurse rolled the girl onto her back and went to find the doctor so the girl could be discharged.

The nurse and doctor came back in with something Emily had been dreading wearing in front of Hanna: an adult diaper. "Miss Fields, the nurse is going to go ahead and put this on you before getting you dressed to go home. I'm afraid accidents are still going to occur rather frequently until your body gets used to your routine. If you're protected, it should be less embarrassing and more manageable. As soon as you're dressed and ready, I've given you the go ahead to sign out and head home," the doctor told her before leaving the room.

Once the nurse showed Hanna how to fasten the diaper and the best ways to clothe her friend, she returned with a wheelchair and transferred Emily into it. After signing a few forms and being given catheters, suppositories, diapers and some cleaning supplies, Emily was free to leave and Hanna pushed her out to the car.

The first thing Emily wanted to do once she was seated in the car was call her mom. Hanna dialed the number and handed the girl the phone.

"Mommy? They finally let me go home today. Yes I'm okay. The doctors told you everything, right? It's really okay. I know you can't get home, and I understand. Hanna is moving in and taking care of me. Yes mom, tell daddy I love him and miss him. I promise you I'm okay. It's a new life but I'll learn. I'll talk to you soon. I love you too, bye."

"You okay?" Hanna asked, noticing the sadness on her friend's face.

"I just wish she could be here, I miss her and sometimes I just need my mom," Emily said quietly.

Hanna frowned, "I know Em, and I wish money wasn't an object and things weren't this way. But your mom just got back to work after being here with you for a few weeks and wouldn't be able to take the time off, even if she did have the money to fly back up."

"I know," Emily said with a sigh, and Hanna squeezed her hand.

"I'll try my hardest to be your mom and your friend and everything else you need, okay? I'm going to call Caleb and Toby and see if they can come move your bed downstairs as soon as we get you home," Hanna said.

* * *

After the few transfers from wheelchair to car to wheelchair to couch, Hanna and Emily had all but mastered the process. Emily wrapped her arms tightly around Hannah's neck and Hanna slid one arm under Emily's bottom and the other under her back.

Caleb and Toby had jumped on the opportunity to help their friend, and Emily's bed was now in the middle of her living room. Soon after the boys had left, Hanna suggested that she make something to eat for them both. Emily agreed, and waited on the couch while Hanna made their salads.

"I want this to be as normal as possible for you so as much as I want you to relax on the couch, I think we should bring you to the table to eat," Hanna suggested, and Emily agreed. Once Emily was comfortably in her wheelchair, she wheeled herself over to the table and waited for Hanna to serve her.

As the two quietly ate their lunches, Hanna could tell something was bothering her friend and tried to get her to talk. "So what's going on in that head of yours? Do you want to talk about it?" she asked and Emily simply shrugged.

"Em?" Hanna pressed.

"I just hate feeling helpless. I feel completely useless and I just wish I could have my old life back. I don't know how I'm ever going to get used to this," Emily stated, her voice rising until it cracked and her emotions took over.

"Em," Hanna said sympathetically, "you're not useless. You're beautiful and smart and loyal. I wouldn't trade you for the world. I'm going to help you get used to this and I will spend my whole life taking care of you if I have to."

"But I don't want to be taken care of! I just want to take care of myself!" Emily snapped and began to cry.

Hanna got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around her broken friend. "I know Em, and I'm sorry. So, so sorry."

She held Emily there for several minutes until her cries quieted and she met her eyes. "You're okay?" she asked. "I'm okay," Emily responded and Hanna smiled at her.

"I know this is probably the last thing you want to think about right now but we're approaching the 5 hour mark and I think we should probably empty your bladder before we do anything else. Is that okay?" Hanna asked hesitantly.

"Oh. Well I don't really have an option, so.." Emily responded and began to wheel herself to the bathroom. Having to wait for Hanna to lift her out of her chair and onto the toilet just added insult to injury, but once she was seated, Hanna gingerly pulled her sweat pants off and undid the tapes of her diaper.

"Uh Em?" Hanna asked.

"Yeah?"

"So I think your bladder might already be empty..." Hanna trailed off, gesturing to the soaked padding.

"Oh god," Emily said with frustration and embarrassment as she covered her face, "I can't even feel when I piss myself."

"Em it's no big deal. That's why you're wearing it. It's not something you can control at all, and we just need to get you on a set routine. We'll figure it out." Hanna reassured her as she began to clean the girl off.

"But what am I supposed to do if I can't even feel it? How am I ever supposed to know when it happens?" Emily said and Hanna sighed.

"I'm not sure Em, we'll just have to check and make sure you're dry more often, okay? I'm going to do this anyway to make sure you're all empty. I don't want you to get an infection." Hanna tried and Emily nodded.

"I'm sorry Em," Hanna said quietly as she tried to finish up what she was doing.

When she was done, Hanna clumsily rediapered her friend while she was still on the toilet and got her pants back on before transferring her back into her chair. "That's pretty quick and painless don't you think?" she tried and Emily just shrugged. "I'm going to go ahead and set reminders in my phone every four hours so we don't forget to do this and I can check more often to make sure you're dry. Let's just get you back on the couch."

* * *

"Do you want to shower before bed?" Hanna asked and Emily, still in her funk from earlier shrugged. "I don't care. You're doing everything else for me, you might as well make decisions for me too," she said sharply.

"Em," Hanna tried, "you're hurt. You need help. It's not like I can just leave you here to take care of yourself. I'm doing everything I can to make this easy and I don't know what I can do differently."

The hurt in Hanna's voice made Emily realize that all of her frustrations had been taken out on her friend and she suddenly felt very guilty. "I'm sorry Hanna," Emily spoke up quietly, "I'm just so frustrated but I shouldn't have snapped at you. You've sacrificed so much for me and I don't even know how to begin to thank you." Emily paused and looked to Hanna for a reaction, happy to see the girl smiling at her.

"I know you don't mean it, Em. I know this is much harder for you than for me and I just want to help. So, what about that shower? I bet it'll make you feel a little nicer," Hanna tried.

Emily nodded, "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Logistic nightmare though."

Hanna quickly pushed Emily into the bathroom and went through the process of taking care of Emily's catheter before doing anything else. When she finished and opened the shower curtain, Emily was surprised to see a shower chair installed and ready to use. "Han? When did that chair get there?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, your mom and I had it put in while you were still in the hospital. Figured it'd make our lives a lot easier once you were here," Hanna explained.

"Wow, thank you," Emily said sincerely and Hanna smiled as she started to undress her friend, "Of course."

Once Emily was undressed and Hanna helped transfer her into the shower, they had to tackle the process of cleaning her off for the first time outside of the hospital sponge baths. As much as Emily wanted to take care of this sort of thing on her own, she was slowly learning that privacy was a luxury of the past and that she needed to forget about modesty and focus on realistic ways to take care of necessities.

"Can I at least wash my hair? There's nothing wrong with my arms anyway," Emily asked suddenly which surprised Hanna.

"I know there's nothing wrong with your arms but the doctor said not to over exert yourself. I think you should just let me do this for now. You just came home this morning," Hanna explained and Emily sighed but nodded. "I think it'll only be a matter of time before you can do this entirely on your own though," Hanna tried.

Hanna started the water and washed Emily's upper body quickly but thoroughly before washing the girl's legs and clumsily cleaning her bottom with her in the chair. She took her time washing Emily's long dark hair and massaging her scalp before she turned off the water and began the long process of drying the girl off and getting her back into her wheelchair, leaving a towel wrapped around her until she could lay her down on her bed and dress her that way.

She let Emily brush her own teeth before she pushed her back to the living room turned bedroom and helped her onto her side in bed so she could easily get a diaper under her before putting her pajamas on. She tucked the girl in before crawling into the bed next to her, and they both fell asleep quickly.

When Hanna's alarm reminder went off a few hours later, she gently woke Emily up but decided to take care of it right there in bed rather than dragging the girl to the bathroom. She went to grab all of the supplies she would need, and did the exact same things she had done the first time while Emily was still on a bed in the hospital with a catch container instead. Emily was only half awake during the whole process, and had fallen back asleep before Hanna had cleaned up and gotten back into bed.

The next time Hanna's alarm went off, she decided it was time to start her day anyway and went to shower before coming back to wake up her friend.

"Good morning Em," she said as she gently shook the girl awake, "how're you feeling?"

"Like I'm paralyzed from the waist down. You know, the normal," Emily snarked and Hanna just shook her head.

"It's pee time," Hanna said as she tried to lighten the mood, "Want to do it here or in the bathroom?"

"Here is fine," Emily said and Hanna nodded and began the all too familiar process.

When she was finished, she got Emily dressed into some more sweats and a soft t-shirt before helping her into her chair and making their way to the kitchen.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Hanna asked and Emily began to think.

"Honestly, I could really go for some super unhealthy, greasy bacon," Emily said.

"Then super unhealthy, greasy bacon it is. I'll make some eggs too," Hanna said, making her way around the kitchen. "Oh and Em?" she said, "I think Aria and Spencer wanted to come over for a little while this morning. They should be here sometime after 8."

"Oh, okay. It's been a few days since I've seen them," Emily responded quickly as she waited for breakfast.

* * *

The four girls found themselves at the dining room table catching up on boy talk, family drama and college decisions. Emily couldn't help but wonder whether or not she could even go to college now, but decided not to dwell on it right now.

As their conversations carried on, Emily enjoyed the feeling of normalcy being surrounded by her best friends and talking about normal life things. It was the first time in months that the focus wasn't on her injury.

Aria suggested that they watch a movie and they all made their way to the living room. Even with Emily's bed in the room, the girls found room for themselves on the couch. Hanna set up the tv before helping Emily onto the couch and sitting down herself.

About an hour into the movie, Emily's bubble of relaxing happiness was burst as she started to feel a bit weird. Not super light headed, but still dizzy, and not like she was going to be sick, but still nauseous, sweaty and uneasy. She kept it to herself and tried to ignore the feeling so her friends wouldn't worry about her.

It only took about another ten minutes for Emily to realize why she had felt so uncomfortable. She knew the smell from the frequent accidents that she had had during her time in the hospital and was mortified that it had happened in front of her friends this time. It's one thing to tell a nurse, especially when they often recognized the problem before she did, and completely different to have to tell your best friends.

It took Emily a few moments to convince herself that she had to say something. "Hanna," she all but whispered.

"What's up Em?" Hanna answered quite loudly, catching the attention of both Spencer and Aria.

"I...uh...we...we need to go to the bathroom," she responded almost inaudibly.

As much as Emily loved Hanna and her big, loud self, this was one of the times she really wished the girl could quietly talk to her but Hanna didn't seem to worry about making the situation known to their friends. "What do you mean? We should have at least an hour before we have to worry about that," she said, pulling out her phone to check the time.

"Hanna," Emily pleaded. "I really need you to take me right now. Please Han," she finished as the tears started.

On the other end of the couch, Spencer and Aria exchanged confused and concerned looks. "Hanna," Spencer started when the girl didn't move to help Emily up, "I think you ought to take her to the bathroom now. She's obviously trying to tell you something." "Yeah Han," Aria added, "Something is definitely bothering her."

Hanna looked guilty once she realized how upset Emily had become. "I'm sorry Em, I didn't realize. What's going on?"

"I just... I need to get changed okay," Emily tried to explain, just in time for her friends to catch a whiff of her problem.

"Oh. Ohhh," Hanna said as she came to a realization. "Okay Em, no big deal. Let me just get your chair and we'll take care of this," she said calmly as she squeezed Emily's hand.

"Do you want a hand Hanna?" Spencer offered as she sat up on the edge of the couch before moving to stand.

"Thanks Spence," Hanna said as she rolled Emily's chair over, "But I think it might be mildly less embarrassing for Em if I just take care of this myself."

Aria said nothing until she had scooted over to wrap a comforting arm around Emily's shoulders. "Hey, there's no need to be so upset Em. It's not a big deal at all," she tried as she rubbed the girl's shoulder. "We all know that this isn't your fault, okay? Here, let's get you in your chair and Hanna will take care of this, no problem," Aria said as she helped Hanna to gently lift Emily into her chair.

"Actually guys, I think it might be easier to take care of this here on Emily's bed. Would you mind..." Hanna trailed off.

"Of course Han, I need to call Toby anyway. I'll be outside," Spencer said as she moved towards the door. "Yeah, I think Ezra was trying to reach me a little earlier. I'll see what he wants," Aria added as she followed Spencer out.

Hanna quickly transferred Emily back out of her chair and onto her side on her bed. "I'm just going to go grab some things real quick Em, I'll be right back," Hanna said before running to the bathroom to grab some cleaning supplies. When she came back, she laid some bed pads out to protect Emily's blankets before removing the girl's pants.

When it came time to open Emily's diaper, Hanna rubbed her side reassuringly. "I'll be done in just a second Em, don't worry." Hanna thoroughly wiped Emily clean before getting the girl's attention once again. "Hey Em," she said, "since we're already here and it's about time anyway, I think we should go ahead and take care of your bowel program now. Is that okay?"

After receiving a subtle nob from the other girl, Hanna went to grab her gloves and Emily's suppositories from the bathroom. Hanna started to stimulate the girl right away since she was in position, and gave her the suppository before putting a bed pan underneath her. "Hey, are you feeling okay, Em?" she asked as she took off her gloves.

"I felt pretty bad right before that happened but I didn't know why and I feel okay now. Why?" Emily responded.

"Your stool is a bit loose. I think maybe you have an upset stomach and that's why this happened. We're going to have to watch your diet a little bit better," Hanna said.

Emily looked up at her. At least she wasn't super embarrassed talking about this so intimately with her friend anymore, she thought before she smirked and shook her head, "So no more super unhealthy, greasy bacon?"

"No more super unhealthy, greasy bacon. Sorry Em," Hanna said playfully. "I'm just to go let Spence and Aria know it's going to be a few minutes. I'll be back in a second."

When Hanna came back to Emily's bedside, she put on another pair of gloves and stimulated her every few minutes for about a half hour before deciding she was done. She quickly took care of Emily's bladder as well after she had cleaned her up again, and once she had Emily in a fresh diaper, she helped her back into her chair and then wheeled her over to help her back onto the couch.

With Emily finally taken care of and comfortably on the couch, Hanna went out to the porch to see Spencer and Aria.

"Hey guys," she said, "thanks for being so cool about that whole thing. Emily is having a really hard time adjusting to that aspect of things."

Aria nodded, "I hate how embarrassed she is. I mean, she was in tears about something she had no control over. I mean she can't even feel it."

Spencer nodded as well and continued, "I can't even imagine how she feels though. She has absolutely no control over something so simple. That's got to be really hard for her."

"It really is," Hanna agreed, "but I really hope that one day she'll be used to it. Her whole life is completely flipped upside down and I don't think anyone really knows how to handle that."

"At least she still has us," Aria pointed out.

"At least she still has us," Spencer agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

After the three girls walked back in from the porch, they quickly reclaimed their spots on the couch and resumed the movie. Emily was surprised but thankful that the two girls who had been unfamiliar with her problems seemed to act like nothing had happened. She expected this from Hanna, who knew how uncomfortable she still was about her bathroom needs, but not from the other two.

As the movie came to a close, Spencer suggested that if Emily was up for it, that they should go out for lunch to celebrate her coming home. "Are you ready for that Em?" Hanna asked her and Emily thought for a minute before she answered, "I think so. I mean, I don't see the difference between me sitting in a wheelchair here or sitting in a wheelchair at a restaurant." "Then I guess we're going out to lunch," Hanna said with a smile, "do we just want to go to the Grille?" Both Spencer and Aria shrugged but nodded, so the decision was left up to Emily. "I could definitely go for the Grille," Emily commented, and so it was decided.

The four girls headed out to Spencer's car. Aria took the front seat while Hanna rolled Emily's chair up to one of the back doors and lifted the girl in before folding up the wheelchair, putting it in the trunk and getting in the other side herself. Once Emily was buckled in, Hanna spoke up, "Alright Spence, we're all ready to go back here."

When Spencer pulled up the Apple Rose Grille, Hanna was quick to get Emily out of the car without making a scene. Aria walked around the car and closed the door behind the other two and just like that they were on their way inside just like old times.

Once they were settled in at a table, Emily felt almost normal. In fact, the only difference between she and the other three girls was her seat; she sat in a wheelchair and the other three sat in chairs. They quickly placed their orders, each one knowing the menu like the back of their own hands and got to small talk.

As always, Aria received her salad, Spencer and Hanna sandwiches, and Emily a wrap. The three dug in and as they did, Spencer spoke up. "You know Em," she said, "I didn't start to realize this until we were somewhere hanging out like normal, but I really am so thankful that you're still here and as okay as you are." Emily blushed a little and Aria spoke up as well. "Yeah, I don't know what we'd do without you. We weren't complete while you were in the hospital and I'm so happy you're back," she said as she reached over to squeeze Emily's hand. "You guys are the best friends a girl could ask for," Emily responded, "and God did I miss this," she said as she looked around at them all.

The talk was interrupted as the four looked up at the sound of the front door opening for the first time since they arrived. "Oh my.." Hanna was the first to speak as Emily sat there speechless. Walking through the door was none other than Paige McCullers. "Paige," Emily said quietly, wishing so bad that she could jump out of her chair and pull the other girl into a tight hug.

It took a few moments for Paige to notice the quartet and when she did her jaw dropped. "Oh my God, Emily," she all but yelled as she ran over to the girl and wrapped her arms around her in her chair, "I can't...I don't...where have you been?" The entire time that Emily had been in the hospital, her friends kept it on the down low so that only they knew where the girl had gone. Unintentionally they had left Paige, the girl with whom Emily had been flirting for months (even though they swore they weren't together), out of the loop, and she had no idea where the girl had gone. She thought that Emily had up and left Rosewood without even telling her, and had spent all of the time grieving the loss. Little did she know that Emily was right there the entire time, just inside the walls of the hospital.

Emily had been so happy to be home and so preoccupied adjusting to her new life that she hadn't even thought of her feelings or relationships. She realized as soon as she saw the girl that she had missed Paige more than she could have thought. Before Emily could even answer, she placed her hands on either side of a crouched down Paige's face and pulled her into a long awaited kiss.

The two rested their foreheads together when they were done relearning the tastes of each other's lips. "God I missed you," Emily all but whispered. "Em, oh I thought you were gone," Paige said, "what..I...what happened to you?" Spencer, Aria, and Hanna shared adoring looks as they continued eating their meals and allowed the two to talk. "I got into a really bad car accident and I've been in the hospital doing rehab this whole time. I can't believe I didn't think to call you when I woke up," Emily started to explain. "And the wheelchair," Paige started, "are you, I mean, can you walk?" Emily looked down a little at the question and Paige's face creased in sympathy as she placed a firm hand on Emily's back. "I..no, I can't," Emily explained, "I'm paralyzed from the waist down. Hanna has become my caretaker since my mom is away with my dad. I just got home yesterday so this is all new. But I'm so happy that you're here Paige."

"Why don't you pull up a chair and join us?" Spencer offered. Paige smiled as she looked up to the girl before reaching behind her for a chair and pulling it up next to Emily. "I can't believe none of us thought to call you Paige," Aria said regretfully, "I guess we were all just so focused on making sure Em was okay." "Hey, it's okay," Paige countered, "I mean, I wish I knew because I could've been another shoulder for her to lean on, but we're here now so none of it matters." "Paige," Emily said as she laid her hand over the girl's, "It means the world to me that you care so much and wanted to be there. I won't forget that," she finished with a squeeze.

After Paige had ordered and all five girls finished their meals, Paige and Emily reluctantly said goodbye and the group parted ways from Emily's fling. Hanna helped Emily back into the car and Spencer dropped the two off at Emily's house.

"Em, I can't believe I never reached out to her for you. I feel like the worst best friend in the world," Hanna said as she sat down next to the other girl on the couch. "Han, don't worry about it," Emily responded, "I know you were way more worried about making sure I was okay. My romantic life should've been in the back of your mind. It's really okay." "If you say so," Hanna retreated. "I'm going to put on a movie. I think you've had enough action for one day," she finished before standing up and walking over to the tv. Hanna set everything up and then rejoined Emily. "By the way," Hanna asked, "how are you feeling Em? Do you think your stomach is still upset?" "I don't know," Emily shrugged, "I mean, I don't think it matters anyway. Either I'll go to the bathroom all over myself again or I won't. There's not much we can do to stop it." "Wow, real positive Em," Hanna teased.

While the movie played, Emily and Hanna both dosed off, but they were awoken about two hours later by the alarm on Hanna's phone. "I guess it's time to empty my bladder?" Emily questioned and Hanna nodded. "But you can stay here," Hanna said, "and I can just do it here on the couch." "No, it's okay. Let's do it in the bathroom. I just need you to help me into my chair," Emily said. Hanna did just that, and Emily rolled her way into the bathroom so that Hanna could catheterize her.

Once that was taken care of, the two headed back out to the living room. "Do you think you could go up to my bedroom and get a book for me to read Han?" Emily asked, "I can only watch so many movies and I'm already starting to get bored." "Of course Em," Hanna said as she helped Emily into a different position on the couch, "I'll be right back." Hanna gave Emily several books to choose from when she came back downstairs. "Thanks Han," Emily said.

"Hey Han?" Emily asked after reading for awhile, "do you think you could grab me something to drink?" "Yeah of course, be right back," Hanna said as she got up and went to the kitchen. Emily drank a bit of the water that Hanna brought her, but suddenly was hit with the weird feelings from earlier that morning. Hanna happened to be watching and noticed the change in the girl. "Em? You okay?" she asked and Emily shook her head. "I feel like I did this morning Han, I think I'm about to have an accident," she said with embarrassment. "Okay Em, that's okay," Hanna said trying to reassure her embarrassed friend, "Do you want me to try to get you to the bathroom, or do you want to just go? I have no problem getting you cleaned up after." "I don't think I can make it to the bathroom," Emily said, "I feel awful and I don't even want to move." "No problem Em, whatever is best for you is fine, okay? There's no need to be embarrassed," Hanna tried to explain.

"I'm going to try to get you a little more comfortable," she said as she grabbed Emily's legs and swung them up onto the couch and then helped the girl to scoot downward so that she was lounging instead of sitting. Hanna brushed the stray hairs out of Emily's face and sat on the edge of the couch so that she could rub the girl's stomach. "Let me know when the feeling passes and I'll get you changed," Hanna said in a completely nonjudgmental way and Emily barely nodded.

"You know Han," Emily said through her discomfort, "you're doing a pretty good job being my makeshift mom like you said you'd be. I don't know how to thank you." "You don't have to thank me Em, this is what best friends are for," Hanna said. "I still want to thank you. The feeling is finally gone by the way," Emily said, "I think it's safe to change now." Hanna nodded and quickly laid down some pads on the girl's bed, picked her up off of the couch and transferred her into her chair and over to her bed and laid her down on top of them. She made quick work of discarding the used diaper and cleaning her friend off before rediapering her. "You're all set," Hanna said as she placed Emily back on the couch and went to wash her hands.

Emily went back to reading and about an hour later, Hanna was bothering her about dinner. "I don't know what I want Han. I just want to stay on the couch and relax. So maybe takeout? I don't know," she said grumpily. "Relax killer, take out is fine with me. I'll have to leave you alone for a bit to go get it though, is that okay? Or I can see if maybe Aria or Spencer can come stay with you," Hanna offered. "No, I don't need a babysitter. I got in a car accident and I'm paralyzed, not a child," Emily responded harshly. "Okay Em, sorry," Hanna said and the other girl could tell she was a bit hurt. "I'm sorry Han, I'm just frustrated. I just wish I could take care of myself still. But I'm not trying to be ungrateful," Emily tried to explain. "I know Em," Hanna said, "it's okay. I know you're having a rough time."

Before Hanna walked out the door to go pick up their dinner, she decided to put Emily in her wheelchair while she was home alone this way she could move around and get whatever she needed. "I'll be back in a few," Hanna said as she walked out the door and Emily just nodded. Of course, Emily wasn't just going to sit around, so she wheeled her way to the kitchen to get a drink. The girl was able to get the door to the fridge open, and found herself pulling up sideways next to the shelves so that she had the closest reach. Unfortunately all of the drinks were up one shelf too high for the girl to easily reach and as she leaned, her wheelchair began to tip towards the fridge. Emily didn't have the strength or coordination to stop what was happening and almost in slow motion, she went crashing to the ground as her chair tipped over. "Shit!" Emily yelled out as she was left helpless on the floor. She had landed hard on her hip, but she couldn't even feel whether she was hurt or not. She used the cabinets to pull herself into a sitting position, leaning her back against them for support, and was left sitting there to wait for Hanna to come back.

"Em?" Hanna asked as she walked back into the house. "In here!" Emily called out from the kitchen. Hanna walked that way to put their dinner on the counter and was surprised by what she saw. "Oh my gosh Em," she said as she saw the knocked over wheelchair and the girl sitting on the floor, "what happened? Are you okay?" "I...yeah, I think so. I was trying to get a drink but I tipped over. Can you just help me up please?" Emily asked with shame. "Yeah, yeah absolutely," Hanna said before standing up the girl's wheelchair and then lifting her up off of the floor. "Are you sure you're okay Em?" she asked. "I don't know. I landed really hard on my hip but I can't exactly feel it," Emily explained. "I'm sorry Em," Hanna said, "Next time I take you to the bathroom I'll look and see if you're bruised. I'm sorry I left you here alone. I knew I should've asked someone to come over." "It's okay Han, it's my fault for trying something so hard. I should've just stayed in the living room," Emily said. Hanna just nodded and placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Lets just eat dinner," Hanna suggested.

After dinner, Hanna took Emily to the bathroom to catheterize her, but took some extra time to look at the girl's hip. "You look a little bruised Em, but I think you're okay. Nothing else hurts?" Hanna asked as she got the girl's pants back on. Emily shook her head and Hanna nodded. "Let's get you back on the couch for a little while before bed. Are you feeling up for another movie?" she suggested. "Yeah sure, you can pick," Emily said, too exhausted from the day's events to protest at all.

While the two were curled up on the couch, Hanna's phone rang. "It's my mom Em, I'll be right back," she said as she excused herself. Emily nodded and continued watching the movie as she waited for the girl to get back.

Unbeknownst to Emily, Hanna was actually having a really hard conversation over in the kitchen. Her mom had called to let her know that her uncle had passed away, and that the funeral services were this week. The biggest problem with that was that Hanna's uncle lived in Georgia, not Pennsylvania, and the services were going to be in his hometown. At any other time, Hanna would be fine with leaving town for a few days for something like this, but she had made a promise to Emily that she'd be there to take care of her. "Thanks mom," she said as she wrapped up the phone call, "I'll figure something out. I love you too."

"Hey Em," Hanna said as she walked into the living room, "I have some bad news." This immediately caught Emily's attention and she straightened her posture, "What's up Han? Is everything okay?" Hanna walked over to sit next to the girl to deliver the news, "Not exactly. My uncle passed away yesterday and I have to go to his funeral this week." "Oh Han, I'm sorry," Emily said as she placed her hand over the blonde's. "No Em, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to go to Georgia for a few days so I can't be here with you," Hanna explained. "Oh," Emily said as she realized the problem.

"I can ask Spencer or Aria and I'm sure one of them can come stay with you," Hanna offered, "I don't have to leave until late tomorrow so I can show them you're bowel program and everything before I go." Emily simply nodded, embarrassed to have yet another friend work with her intimate needs. "I'm sorry Em," Hanna said when she saw how upset the other girl's face was, "I know I promised to be here for you." "Wait, Han," Emily said as she suddenly perked up a bit, "what about Paige?" "If you'd rather have her than Spence or Aria, then I don't see why not. Do you want me to give her a call for you?" Hanna asked and Emily nodded, reaching for her phone next to her on the couch to give it to Hanna.

Hanna took Emily's phone and quickly called Paige. "Hey Em," Paige said when she answered the phone. "Hey Paige, it's actually Hanna," the girl explained. "Oh hey Hanna, is everything okay?" Paige asked. "Well, sort of," Hanna said, "As you know I've been taking care of Em since she came home, but my uncle just died so I have to go to Georgia for a few days, and she doesn't have anyone else to take care of her. And, well, she asked me to ask you. It's totally up to you and it's no small task to take care of..." "Hanna stop, I'd love to come take care of her," Paige interjected. "Wait really?" Hanna asked, surprised. "Of course, I'd do anything for that girl," Paige responded. "Oh my gosh Paige, Emily is going to be so happy," Hanna said, "I have to warn you though, you're going to get very...intimate with her really fast. She's completely incontinent so there's some things you have to do to deal with that. If you can come over tomorrow before noon I can show you what I'm talking about." "I'm not worried about it Hanna, like I said, I'd do anything for her, and I can definitely be there tomorrow. I haven't ever told her this, but I think I'm in love with her, and I can't wait to spend some extra time with her. I'll see you tomorrow?" Paige asked. "Yeah I'll see you tomorrow, how does 11 sound?" Hanna asked. "11 is perfect. I'll see you tomorrow Hanna," Paige said before she hung up.

"Hey Em," Hanna said as she walked back into the living room, "I have good news. Paige agreed and she's going to be coming over tomorrow so I can teach her all about your bathroom needs." "Wait really? She wants to come stay with me and help me?" Emily asked. Hanna chuckled, "Of course she does Em. We both know how much she cares about you. She'll be here at 11." Emily just smiled to herself.

A bit later, Hanna helped to empty Emily's bladder one more time before changing her into some more comfortable clothes and tucking her into bed. "I'm just going to go put the left overs away and then I'll come to bed," Hanna said and Emily just nodded. Before Hanna came back from the kitchen, she brought what she would need to catheterize the girl there in bed in the night. Once she had what she needed, she left the things on the couch and climbed into bed. "Night Em," she said, but the other girl was already fast asleep.

In the morning, Emily couldn't quite contain her excitement about the fact that Paige was going to be coming to stay with her. "Hey Hanna," she said while the girl was making their breakfast, "what time did you say Paige was coming by?" "She supposed to be here at 11 Em, but I think she's just as anxious as you are and wouldn't be surprised if she's a little early," Hanna said with a small smile. Emily blushed and smiled, looking to the clock and realizing it was already 9:30. "Also, I know we normally catheterize you at 10 Em, but I'm going to wait until Paige gets here so I can show her how. Worse comes to worst you leak and you're wearing protection anyway," Hanna explained. "That's fine, I'm sure waiting will be fine. Plus Paige is probably going to see me leak from both ends at some point this week. I might as well get used to it now," Emily said with a shrug.

After the two ate their breakfast, Hanna considered taking Emily for a shower, but decided to wait until Paige was there before doing that. The two found themselves on the couch as per usual, and anxiously (at least Emily) awaited Paige's arrival by watching some mindless tv. "I'm glad you're so excited that I'm leaving Em," Hanna teased and Emily just rolled her eyes with a smile.

About 15 minutes early, Paige knocked on Emily's front door and Hanna quickly got up to answer it. "Hey Paige, I'm so glad you could come," Hanna said and Paige just smiled. The two walked back into the living room and Paige immediately walked over to to hug Emily. "Hey you," she said and Emily took a deep breath before saying "hey" herself. "I'm so happy you're here Paige," Emily said. Hanna watched from afar and smiled at the two happy girls. She allowed them to say hello for a moment before interrupting, "Alright so it's past time for us to take care of Emily's bladder needs, but I wanted to wait until you got her Paige. Do you guys want to move this party to the bathroom?" The other two girls quickly nodded.

"Paige, did you want to help Emily into her wheelchair? You might as well practice," Hanna suggested. Paige easily lifted Emily up like she was weightless and got her into her wheelchair. Emily couldn't help but admire the girl's muscular arms and swoon over her ability to scoop her up so easily.

Once they were all in the bathroom, Hanna started by taking Emily's pants off while she was still in her chair. Paige was a bit confused when she saw a diaper on the other girl and Hanna noticed. "Em is in a diaper for the time being while her body gets used to her bladder and bowel routine. Accidents happen," Hanna tried to explain nicely but Emily still blushed furiously. "Oh okay. Makes sense," Paige said, "I've just never dealt with this before so I have no idea what to expect." "No worries Paige, I'll teach you everything you need to know," Hanna reassured her.

Hanna then transferred Emily onto the toilet and undid the tapes on her diaper. "You want to go ahead and try taking it off of her? It's a bit tricky," Hanna commented and Paige nodded before ever so carefully pulling Emily's diaper out from under her. "Was that okay Em?" Paige asked the girl and she nodded quickly, "perfect Paige. Things are going to get weird and I know that, so don't worry about me." Paige simply nodded, but didn't really know what the other girl was referring to. "Woah wait, what happened to your hip?" Paige asked as she caught sight of the other girl's bruise. "Oh, it's nothing. I fell yesterday but it's fine. Plus I can't feel it anyway," Emily responded. Paige's face creased in sympathy, but she nodded, turning her attention back to Hanna.

"Okay Paige, now come over here and wash your hands before this next part," Hanna directed. "And what exactly is the next part?" Paige asked as she walked to the sink. Hanna smiled and quickly replied, "we have to empty Em's bladder because she can't feel it or do it herself anymore. I'm going to show you how to insert a catheter, which I do every four hours. I set alarms in my phone so we don't forget. It's the best way to prevent leaks." Paige simply nodded as she tried to take it all in. "Just wait," Emily added sarcastically, "the best is yet to come."

Hanna then pulled out two catheter kits from where she stored them under the sink and handed one to Paige. "Okay, so we're about to get very up close and personal," Hanna said, "I hope you're okay with that." "Yeah, absolutely. I'll do whatever she needs," Paige responded as she gave Emily a half smile. "Great. So this part really isn't too hard," Hanna started to explain, "the catheters are already lubricated so you've pretty much just got to find the right hole. I'll show you first with this one, but I'm not going to put it in all the way. Crouch down here with me so you can see." Paige simply nodded and kneeled down next to Hanna in front of the third girl. She tried to hide her blush as she looked at such a personal part of a girl she was so attracted to.

Hanna went ahead and inserted the first catheter, instructing Paige along the way, before pulling it out. It was then time for Paige to give it a try, and she very carefully inserted hers as well. "Good job Paige, that's perfect. Now you just have to go a little further until you hit her bladder. You'll know when urine starts flowing. Just make sure the other end is aimed in the toilet. Sometimes I do this while she's still in bed, and then you just have to use a catch container instead," Hanna said. Paige did as she was told and correctly emptied Emily's bladder.

"Now normally we'd just get Emily back into a diaper and redressed at this point, but I want to get her into the shower this morning, so I think we should do that now," Hanna said and Paige nodded, "whatever she needs." "Great, so there's a shower chair in the shower so we just have to get Emily..." Hanna was cutoff as Paige had already scooped the half naked Emily up and was placing her onto the shower chair. "Okay, well I guess we just have to get her shirt and bra off then," Hanna said and Paige was quick to do so, leaving the injured girl naked in front of her for the first time. Hanna turned on the water and went to grab a washcloth from the closet.

Once the water was warm, Hanna put some soap onto the rag and lathered it up. "So basically, you have to wash Em just like you'd wash yourself," Hanna said as she started to run the rag over the other girl's body. "It's a little tricky to wash her bottom while she's in the chair, but you don't want to miss anywhere," she explained. "Did you want to try maybe?" Hanna offered to Paige and the girl nodded. "Might as well," Paige said as she very carefully and shyly washed the girl's naked body. She was extra shy around the girl's chest and core, but was more easily able to lift and wash under the girl than Hanna had been which made Emily swoon internally. Washing Emily's hair was easy, so Paige didn't hesitate to massage the shampoo into the girl's hair. This whole time Emily sat in silence, but with a light smile on her face as the girl she admired so much took such delicate care of her.

After Emily's shower, it was time for what Hanna knew was going to be the hardest part for the other two girls. She had Paige wrap the girl in a towel before putting her in her chair and pushing her out to the living room. "So normally I'd lay Emily down here on her bed to get her in a diaper and then into some clothes before continuing on with the day, but there's something else we have to do. We always do it around noon so it's time and I don't want to wait. If you want to grab her a bra and shirt and get those on her, that's fine. I'll get what we need for the next step," Hanna instructed. Paige nodded and did as she was told, but didn't know what Hanna was referring to as coming next.

Hanna walked over with some lube, a container of suppositories, some bed pads, and a bed pan, and Paige raised her eyebrow at her. "So this is probably the most unconventional part of Emily's care, but it's called a bowel program," Hanna started to explain, just to be interrupted by an embarrassed whine from Emily. "Emily, as you can tell, is still really embarrassed about this part but I promise it's not that bad." Paige looked confusedly at Hanna, waiting for her to explain what exactly was going on.

Hanna handed Paige a pair of gloves before explaining further. "Okay, so basically there are three parts to this. First, you have to lay her on her left side and do what's called digital stimulation. Basically, you're going to stick your index finger into her rectum past the muscle resistance and make circles to pull out any stool that's already near the exit," Hanna said, "and this is because after that, you're going to insert a suppository and it has to touch the walls of her rectum not stool." Paige nodded as she again tried to take it all in. "Then, the most important part is when you do digital stimulation again to remove all of the stool in her bowels. The suppository will get her going and then you'll have to keep it going until she's empty. You can do it every five minutes or so until nothing is coming out anymore," Hanna finished explaining. "Does that make sense?" she asked Paige. Paige nodded, "yeah, I think I've got it."

Paige scooped Emily up out of her chair and laid her on her left side on her bed. Hanna went ahead and handed Paige some bed pads and the bed pan to put underneath and behind the girl which she did quickly. She then put on some gloves and used some of the lube that Hanna was holding out to her. It was certainly unconventional to be sticking her finger up Emily's butt to get her to poop on her bed, but strangely enough, Paige didn't seem bothered. With Hanna's guidance, she was able to easily get through the first two parts of Emily's program. Once the suppository was in, Hanna spoke up, "you can take those gloves off now. It'll be a little while until you do the rest." Paige nodded and quickly got up to dispose of her gloves before walking around to crouch down next to Emily's face.

"Hey you," she said to the girl, "how are you hanging in there?" Emily just shook her head and some embarrassed tears began to flow. "Woah, hey, there's no need to cry Em," Paige said as she softly pulled the girl's wet hair out of her face before stroking the side of her face lightly. "It's just so freaking embarrassing," Emily said quietly, "you shouldn't ever have to see this. I'm supposed to go to the bathroom behind closed doors, not have a beautiful girl like you literally handling my shit." "Don't worry about me so much Em, doing what you need doesn't bother me, and it doesn't change how I look at you," Paige reassured the girl, "just think, if anything this is going to make us closer, you know?" Emily reluctantly nodded, "Can I just have a hug?" "I'll never say no to that," Paige said with a smile as the position the girl was in made for an awkward hug but she did it anyway. "Stop thinking so much and just let me take care of you," Paige said once she pulled away, placing a kiss on Emily's forehead.

Paige then walked back around to where Hanna was and put on another pair of gloves and relubricated her finger. "So I just do the same thing as before, right?" she asked and Hanna nodded, "yup, every five minutes or so. It normally takes me 4 or 5 times before it's all out." Paige nodded and resumed the long process of emptying Emily's bowels. Once all was done, she cleaned the girl up with some wipes and took the bed pads before she went with Hanna to see how to clean out the bed pan. "Be right back Em," Hanna said and the girl nodded.

When the two were back, Hanna instructed Paige to roll Emily over onto her back with a diaper under her to finish getting her dressed. With Emily dressed, Hanna spoke up, "do you want to go to the couch Em? Or do you have something else in mind?" "Couch is fine," she said quietly, clearly still upset with what had just been done. Paige scooped the girl up without a problem and walked her right over to the couch, entirely skipping the step with the wheelchair that Hanna used. Paige sat down herself while still holding the other girl, before gently placing her down to sit close next to her. Emily ended up leaning back on Paige and looking up to appreciate the other girl. Hanna turned on the tv and then walked over to other end and sat down, smiling as she admired the love birds.

"I'm going to have to get going in about an hour," Hanna spoke up around 2, "and it's time to catheterize again. Do you want to try on your own Paige? Or I can come help." "I think I've got it," Paige said before scooping Emily up in her arms and taking her directly to the bathroom. "Paige!" Emily laughed, "I do have a wheelchair you know." "But wouldn't you rather take a ride with me?" Paige flirted as she walked into the bathroom.

Emily just smiled as the other girl sat her down on the toilet. Paige was quick to pull the other girl's pants down and undo her diaper. She easily lifted Emily up just enough to pull the diaper out from under the girl without a problem. "Now let's see here," Paige said as she found the catheter kits below the sink, "seems to me like this is pretty simple. You ready?" Emily nodded, "I can't actually feel it, so go for it." Paige shot her a sympathetic smile and placed a hand on her knee as she knelt down. She got the catheter in without a problem and was soon enough carrying the girl back out to Hanna.

"All good?" Hanna asked when they came back. "All good," Paige confirmed. "Oh good! So do you have any questions before I leave Paige? I'm sure Em could probably answer them too but we might as well talk now," Hanna said. "Umm, not many. But you mentioned accidents happening earlier. Do we have a way to deal with that or is it just on an as happens basis?" Paige asked. "Oh I totally forgot. But yeah, I'm sure they'll happen in the next few days. Sometimes if you don't catheterize in time Em will leak into her diaper. That's really easy though, just get her wiped off clean and change her diaper when you catheterize her next and notice," Hanna explained. "Oh, okay, so accidents are easy," Paige responded. "Not all accidents," Emily said quietly. "Oh?" Paige asked.

Hanna didn't want to upset the other girl so she approached this topic gently. "Yeah, you know, the back end," she said quietly. "Ohh," Paige said and Emily swallowed quite roughly. "Sometimes even though we try hard to keep her on a routine, Emily's body has other ideas. So we end up with a bit of a mess," Hanna explained. "Okay, that's really no big deal, is it?" Paige asked. "I certainly don't think so, but Em disagrees. I find it's easiest to lay her down on some bed pads on her bed to get her cleaned up with the wipes and into a fresh diaper. But if you find another way to get her cleaned off, go for it," Hanna said. "It kind of is a big deal Han, it's always a big mess and a big smelly cleanup job. That's humiliating," Emily added in. "Nonsense Em," Paige said as she placed a comforting hand on Emily's lower back, "if it happens, it happens. I'll get you cleaned up no problem, and certainly won't let you be humiliated." Emily just shrugged her shoulders, still feeling embarrassed. Paige leaned over to whisper to the embarrassed girl, "I think you're perfect Emily Fields, and none of this is going to change that. Don't worry that pretty head of yours over something you can't control." Emily blushed at Paige's words and Paige leaned down to kiss her cheek.

Hanna allowed the two their moment before interjecting, "anything else you need to know Paige?" "Um, I can't really think of anything else. Oh, actually, where have you been sleeping? Upstairs?" Paige asked and Hanna couldn't hold in a chuckle. "Gosh no," Hanna said, "I don't leave this girl down here by herself. Right side of the bed is yours." Paige got a bit bashful for the first time "oh..I didn't...okay," and Emily leaned her head back against the girl with a smile. "I'm a cuddler McCullers," Emily teased, "be ready."

"Well if you don't have any more questions," Hanna said as she stood up, "I think I'm going to head out. You two love birds have fun." "Thanks for everything Han, I'm going to miss my makeshift mom but I'll see you in a few days," Emily said as she opened her arms for a hug. Hanna leaned in and held the other girl close. "I'm going to miss you Em, love you," she said as she pulled away. "Love you too Han," Emily said a bit sadly. "Take care of my Em, Paige," Hanna said before she walked away. "I will Hanna, I will," Paige promised.


End file.
